I DO ……WHEN THE TIME COMES

I DO ……WHEN THE TIME COMES

I’m not sure how to put this. I just witnessed a friend get married and the vows were magical and memorable and thought out.

As a woman I know we give up a lot when we get married. Like our names change, our titles change, our bodies change, basically our lives change.

Is it worth it? I think with the right person it is. Who is the right person? The thing about us girls is we will read a tone of books telling us how to find ideal husbands and what to do while waiting so these I DO’s comes from doing just that.

I found some I DO’s online and figured if I can say I DO to all these, we are good to go.

And from what I see it is a daily decision, not just at the altar, but every day for the rest of your life.

WARNING: They are 50

1. I do love you — always have, always will

2. I do want to wake up next to you every single day.

3. I do want to care for you when you’re sick.

4. I do want your shoulder to cry on.

5. I do want to be your support system.

6 I do believe we can create a wonderful life together.

7. I do see us as a great team.

8. And I do plan on working as a team.

9. I do believe you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met.

10. I do want to have kids, that are the best of both of us.

11. I do want to grow old together.

12. I do want to support your dreams and passions.

13. I do want you there for me.

14. I do want you by my side, walking hand in hand through life.

15. I do care.

16. I do worry.

17. I do fear losing you.

18. I do want to hold on to you for as long as I can.

19. I do know, one day, death will separate us.

20. I do plan on being the best wife you could have ever asked for.

21. I do understand I will need to sometimes make compromises, and I will make them.

22. I do love you more than life itself, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

23. I do understand what you mean to me.

24. And I do promise to never forget.

25. I do owe my happiness to you.

26. I do promise to work on making you happy every single day for the rest of my life.

27. I do need you.

28. I do want you.

29. I do understand how lost I would be without you.

30. I do promise to never stop working on myself.

31. I do know you deserve a woman even better than I.

32. I do understand how incredibly blessed I am to have found you.

33. I do understand how blessed I am that, out of everyone else in the world, you chose to love me.

34. I do want this — more than anything.

35. I do feel as if we were meant to be together.

36. I do understand no one is perfect.

37. I do know we will both make mistakes.

38. I do promise to stick this out until the end and never abandon you.

39. I do know you’re worth it.

40. I do want to be there with you during the hard times.

41. I do want to be the driving force behind the good times.

42. I do want you to be my lifetime companion.

43. I do want to be yours.

44. I do want you to be my life — my whole life.

45. I do want us to conquer our battles together.

46. I do want to be the wife, mother, partner and lover I know I can be and you deserve.

47. I do want to be in this together, from this day forth, until death do us part.

48. I do want to be there for you when you take your last breath.

49. I do hope you’re not there for mine… I want to save you that heartache.

50. I do.

SLAVERY FILMS: AN AFRICAN PERSPECTIVE

Those who know me know I love history. Especially in movie form. I love to learn about the human story, where we were and where we are now.

So this last couple of days I came across this series that was released called Book of Negroes.

The title was quite interesting so, I decided to check it out. It brought to mind a lot of slave based movies and series I’ve watched in the past.

I have watched many and no the lesson I learnt had nothing to do with race but more to do with how we treat each other as humans.

First of all as an African, colonialism is more real to me than slavery, considering that our country did not suffer as much as our West African counterparts. I believe very few slaves came from East Africa, well at least that’s what we were told in school.

Anyway back to my view.

So as I was saying colonialism is more real to me anyways, even though my dad is the one who went through that time period, you can tell there is just a very different way people who went through oppression view the world.

I do like my dad’s perspective; I guess I borrowed a leaf from him on how I see it all. Forgiveness is a huge step to moving forward. No forgiveness = no progress

I do recommend that people watch these, you learn a lot.

So let me start

 BOOK OF NEGROES

It’s about I Aminata Diallo a young girl captured from her home land in Africa and becomes a slave in America.

What I liked about this movie is that it showed a cycle of being captured to freedom to resettlement in Africa. This was the first I had seen on slave movies/series where they showed some aspect of trying to resettle slaves back to Africa. It opened my mind a lot to thinking about what life must have been like for someone who was stolen and then returned home. I thought a lot about my West African brothers and sisters in places like Liberia and what it must have been like to figure out ones identity again.

Also liked the highlighting of those who opposed slavery and how they tried to ban it as a form of trade. It’s always important to highlight all history not just some of it. The truth is it shows that the few people who go against the grain and do the right thing in the end make a large impact and change the world.

Aminata never gave up on the fact that one day she would return home. Even though life beat her down a lot, she fought through and was a blessing to those around her. And her gift of helping women brought her great favor and pushed her ahead.

AMISTAD

Truth be told, I only watched this movie two days ago. It’s one of those movies that came to the cinema and went before I got a chance to watch it.

I personally wish there was a part 2 so I could see what happened to the slaves after winning their case.

I learnt that there are people who like things as they are and will manipulate situations so things remain as they are for their benefit. But I also learnt that there are those who will fight until they see change happen and justice prevails.

Roger Sherman Baldwin

never gave up on his case even tough he had to defend his clients in 3 different courts in 3 different ways.

Cinque the slave learnt to trust the system and lead his fellow slaves even though he felt un worthy and the odds were against him.

The system may look unfair, but sometimes it works

DJANGO

This isn’t the typical slave movie. The truth is I watched it because it’s a Quentin Tarantino movie and he has a reputation of being very graphic. And he did not disappoint.

It wasn’t the easiest movie to watch because of its graphic nature but I did learn a lot.

I saw yet another side of slavery. The other movies usually show more about those who worked in the plantations, this movie showed slaves used for sport. This was probably the most horrific part for me, slaves beating each other to death. I don’t even think I can watch the movie again because of it. It was refreshing to also see a slave character Django himself and his friend Dr. King Shultz bond in such a way and try to change the system.

Makes me wonder if there were such friendships and those who chose to defy the system and bring change for the sake of unity. I’m sure they were

12 YEARS A SLAVE

This movie caught my attention because there was a Kenyan staring in it and it was getting a lot of positive reviews in the media. I was captivated by how well it was made. As much as the story of Patsy got attention, I was also drawn to the story of Solomon Northup. Here was a free black man living a privileged life in the midst of his fellow black men living as slaves.

After watching this I concluded that God wanted to wake him up to the plight of his brothers and sisters. He was very fortunate that his gift gave him the life he lived that he forgot about those who were suffering around him. His eyes were open when he was sold into slavery and took him 12 years to be reunited with his family again. He eventually started to help slaves get free after the ordeal.

People I ask you just do what you are meant to do. If God has put something in your heart to do, do it. Don’t wait for a traumatizing ordeal.

 ROOTS and ROOTS THE NEXT GENERATION

I first watched ROOTS as a child on local TV. I got the series again and re watched it. I remember there was a scandal on whether or not it was a true story or not. Well for me I found it entertaining and I loved the journey through time. I love the zeal Kunta Kinte had for his freedom. I saw the difference between a slave born in captivity and those brought from captivity. I loved that his zeal gave his family pride to better them and it went on through the generations. In the end they got their freedom from slavery and even went ahead and got education and owned property.

I loved when Alex Haley finally traced his roots all the way to Africa and met the African man whose main purpose in the village was to memorize lineage.

It blew my mind. My dad had once told me about that, and my dad knows our family line at least 7 generations.

It made me curious to know our family history and our family tree. What are my roots and what legacy will I leave future generations

Well I can truly say watching these movies/series opened up a whole new perspective of how I view things.

It’s always easy to pick out the race issue in these movies but there is so much more to them. We have to be brave at times to do the right thing. It looks obvious but sometimes the world is against the very act of kindness in itself.

Either way, God sees what we do and will help us do what is right, we just need to take that step of faith and be willing to obey. Don’t you think so?

Picture Courtesy of mcneese.edu,  amistadfunart.tv, djangounchained.org, myseries.tv, indiewire.com, burtonwire.com, play.google.com  

LESSONS FROM THE WOMEN OF ‘MAD MEN’

Ok yes, I watch Mad Men, yes I watched all 7 seasons.

Well because I loved the fashion and I love history. History of Women and just how much we have fought for over the centuries and even the strides we’ve made.  And the clothes were just epic. Really defined the decades well. That wardrobe manager was on point for sure

So today I will share what I learned from some of the lead female characters in the show.

So I’ll start with …….

BETTY

She struck me as this lady who was defined by the man in her life. She always had a title, daughter, wife, mother, host, etc. Her husband always tagged her along to his business dinners. She played the part of a good trophy wife.

I felt that she barely knew who she was most of the time. She was always playing a part. Being married young didn’t play in her favor though that was normal those days, she barely knew who she was. Making her husband look good was her ultimate goal but it didn’t help her at all. He was constantly cheating on her and she was left in constant distress not knowing what to change.

She took a lot of her frustrations on her children.

In the end she did finally bounce back and found her voice. She was more certain of who she was and finally started to do things for herself and take more control of her life

JOAN

What can I say, it’s great to see a curvaceous woman on a show, but that’s not all there is to Joan.

The first time I saw her in the show, she stood out as a really good manager, especially of the girls in the office who were all too keen to be misused by men there. Men were so inappropriate in the earlier seasons, especially on how they treated women.

Joan tried to show the women that getting attention from men wasn’t the ultimate goal. That is a lot of what she got

She was more than her looks and she wanted to be seen in that aspect. She was forced to do a lot of things that she resented because of that fact.

She did manage to pull ahead as the show progressed. At a high price but she felt it was the only way. She tried to defy the way women were perceived in those days and tried to strike a balance between her looks and her intelligence. She didn’t feel the need to compromise her looks to be taken seriously; she wanted to be taken seriously despite of them

PEGGY

Peggy was the ultimate career girl. Well, she didn’t start that way. She was the desperate girl at the office, trying to get the attention from the men around her. She even ended up getting a child with one of them.

Peggy eventually got her act together and became more than a secretary. She became a copy writer, a job that was mostly given to men at the time. She had to constantly prove herself and had to take a lot of crap from the men at that time. By the time the show was coming to an end she had earned their respect, not just from the men, but the women as well. She inspired the women to strive for more and fight for their rights in the office.

Her personal life suffered a lot because of this and was viewed a lot as a threat to the men at that time. She longed for companionship, which eventually came but not easily.

Considering there were no women in high positions at work at the time to look up to Peggy did well for herself, even drawing from her male co-workers, even though it didn’t always work in her favor.

MEGAN

Megan was that girl who had it all. She was every woman’s envy. Looks and brains and seemed to have it all together. She was determined to be the ultimate career woman.

But then she got married. Then everything changed. Her career took a hit and her husband constantly upstaged her.

The confident woman who knew what she wanted in her life suddenly became doubtful of herself. She lost who she was and found it hard to redefine herself. In turn her whole life crumbled and even her career suffered.

At the end she ended up being totally dependent on her ex-husband for upkeep as she tried to figure out what next in her life.

She definitely should have waited to marry a few more years; I feel she’d have made better decisions for sure.

SALLY

Sally was those girls who thought she didn’t want to be like her parents and tried to do her best to be their opposite.

She looked down on her mum for being defined by the men in her life and she looked down to her dad for cheating on her mum.

She looked a lot at her parent’s weaknesses and was determined not to have any. What she didn’t realize is that her parents had a lot of strengths but just had a lot of personal issues to deal with.

In the end she realized she had more in common with them than she thought and a lot of who became was as a result of her upbringing.

Sometimes, we are hard on our parents because all we see is what they did wrong and we forget to focus on what they did right and see their human side.

Pictures courtesy of blog.wsj.com, damemagazine.com and madmen.wikia.com


Moved to http://musingsofafemaleafricanbeliever.weebly.com/

WHERE HAVE ALL THE COWBOYS GONE......

There is this song I used to love when I was younger by Paula Cole called Where Have All The Cowboys Gone

It didn’t make sense then.  Until I grew up and realized that there was a lack of cowboys now.

You may be wondering, who is the cowboy? Glad you asked. A cowboy is….

• ·         Brave
• ·         Courageous
• ·         Daring
• ·         Noble
• ·         Honorable
• ·         Bold
• ·         etc

I’m not saying there are no men who don’t have these qualities but seriously guys sometimes it’s nice to see more of it.

Now before you get any ideas on what I mean by cowboys I don’t mean the rough and tough, I mean the gentlemen.

• ·         The ones who will leave a door open for you and let you go in first as you enter a room
• ·         The one pulls out a chair for you
• ·         The one who opens the car door for you
• ·         The one who carries your heavy bag for you
• ·         The one who lends you his jacket when it gets chilly
• ·         The one who notices your presence and acknowledges it
• ·         The one who pays you a compliment without it meaning more than it should
• ·         The one who is nice to you just because he can

Am sure there are men out there like this, but I rarely see them

·         I see a lot of insecure men

• ·         The ones who complain about women
• ·         The ones who want one night stands
• ·         The ones who won’t take responsibility for their actions
• ·         The ones who take women for granted
• ·         The ones who can pay women a single compliment without wanting something
• ·         The ones who treat women in a disrespectful manner

I could go on and on but it won’t be fare. I don’t want to be a male basher

I’m just saying men, I know you can do more and be more and when you are believe it or not women step up too. Women follow your lead, even the feminist ones. If men treated women with love and respect even feminists wouldn’t find anything to complain about.

I was watching this movie last night called OLD FASHIONED and the male main character seemed to have a good idea on how women should be treated. I recommend it for everyone. It may be abit extreme for some of you but it wouldn’t hurt to check it out.

Here is a link to the trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p0ozDjAQco&noredirect=1

Blessings

Kristie

CHRISTIAN BUCKET LIST

CHRISTIAN BUCKET LIST

I came across this article on a Christian blog. Find link below

http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/the-christian-bucket-list-50-things-every-believer-should-do-before-heaven-11631119.html?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=fbpage&utm_campaign=cwupdate

I had never thought of this before. Yes, I have done a bucket list before, didn’t follow through it all so this list will definitely be interesting to do. Here goes [edited a few though]

1 Get saved. Did that in 1998 the best decision I ever made. Ok I got fully sold out in 1998 otherwise I was those people who prayed the sinners prayers a zillion times but when I finally understood what living for Christ meant, I never looked back and have never regretted it since.

2. Do the same thing--locking the house up and moving to a community in

   another county--where you don't know a soul. Mmmh! Maybe visiting don’t know about moving. Something to consider for sure. Though I did move to a church where I didn’t know anyone 10 years ago, does that count? Or there was also a time I was away from everyone I knew with limited communication for a month. Guess that counts….

3. Pack some things, lock your house up, arrange to have a friend look after your  house, ask the post office to forward your mail. I have gone away from home before see no 2

4. Take your entire family on a Caribbean cruise. When I can I definitely will I’m a sucker for a good holiday.

5. Forgive someone. I do daily and I do my best to keep doing that.

6. Find someone who changed your life and do something special for him/her Done. The person doesn’t know how much but they will J

7. Deepen Yourself Doing that as we speak. I love my new class I learn so much about God’s Word.

8. Widen yourself. I do this especially on line. I learn a lot by not keeping my Christian walk in a box and sheltering myself from what the world really thinks.

9. Postpone your bucket-kicking event. Yes I will eat better, exercise more and take better care of myself

10. Make your own bucket list. Did that some years back… need a new one for sure

11. If you live in the area where you went to school, buy season tickets to the ball games. Attend and cheer, learn the names of players, and act like a kid again. Yet to ever go watch a sports game since Primary School Sports day. Mmmh

12. Throw a street party for your neighborhood. That would be fun, did that almost 9 years ago, does that count?

13. Develop a 15 minute comedy routine--and present it in public. Hmm I did that I don’t know if I want to involve the public.

14. Read a book of Christian theology The only reason am reading one is because of the class am taking. Find them boring. Not all but the one am reading now, yeah am just bearing with it.

15. Plant a flower garden. Yeah need to revive my garden.

16. Master one of the new techni-gadgets. Done…. Wish they didn’t change so much though

17. Do a blog. It’s where you are reading this list

18. Keep a journal for a year of your life. Been doing that since I was a teenager

19. Write down the story of your life. Yet to compile the journal

20. Cater lunch for the entire church. Not possible….. big church

21. Do a random act of kindness. Will try as much as possible but have done that lots of times

22. Read through the Bible. Done that twice, will attempt a 3^rd time soonest

23. Make sure all within your sneeze halo are saved. Don’t get this at all

24. Become something of an expert on one book of the Bible. Challenge accepted

25. Give a needy child the Christmas of his life. Will do for sure

26. Chaperone a youth mission trip. Did that once, don’t see myself doing it again

27. Buy a pastor a suit of clothes. Hmm there is a thought

28. Wash someone's feet. Something to consider

29. Make a will. I think I wrote one when I was a kid, I had like 5 items and I gave them all to my sister cause I thought my brothers were annoying. Will write one soon for sure.

30. Make up your own bucket list. I will come up with one for sure

31. Read A. W. Tozer's The Pursuit of God. I don’t know if I’ll manage the English grammar will …….. let me just leave it at that

32. Plant some flowers or even a tree. Did that, enjoying the fruits as we speak

33. If your city has a children's hospital, become a volunteer. Will check that out if it’s possible

34. Visit a nursing home and minister to patients who rarely have visitors. Something to consider for sure

35. Drop by the Intensive Care Unit at your local hospital and see if there are family members of critically ill patients who need you. Something to consider

NOTE I am not the best care giver so the hospital visits and the like need serious thought

36. Tell everyone you love that you love them. Try to as much as possible

37. One time in your life, contribute twice as much to the work of the Lord than you did the previous year.

Did that. I’m sure of it, still doing it

38. Develop some latent talent such as for music or art Playing an instrument is still in my bucket list

39. Find your spiritual gift and put it to use. Already did. Yey!!

40. Pay off everything and get out of debt. Trying to

41. Find someone from your past and apologize. Hmmm, will look into that.

42. Volunteer in your community. Do that already, Yey!

43. Become a person of good humor and frequent laughter. Yes, this I will do for sure

44. Learn to pray better. Every day

45. Join a choir. Not sure they’ll allow

46. Visit a mission field and do something there for Jesus. Is visiting a new church plant the same as this? Hmmm definitely do it either way.

47. Memorize an entire chapter of the Bible. Will try not good at memorizing stuff though

48. Stand up to a church bully. Always do

49. Win someone to Jesus. Always trying

50. Visit the Holy Land. Must do