Wednesday, 4 May 2016


Dear Mum
I want you to know that you are an amazing lady. As a woman it is more obvious now than when I was a little girl. I always thought your life’s ambition was to make my life hard. I was wrong. It was to make me a strong woman just as you are and even more. So many things I see when I look back and didn’t make sense now make so much sense.
How often I have misunderstood you and what you were trying to do and how often I resented your correction and thought you had a backward way of thinking. That you were trying to prevent me from having the fun you had when you were my age. 

When you told me to help out with the chores and I just felt that since we had a house help that was her purpose there and it was unfair for me to do something she was being paid to do. Little did I know you were preparing me in the skills of being a home maker and actually learn to look after myself. When you gave her the time off, you were giving her time to be with her own family and with her children who always miss her and barely saw her and all I thought about is how inconvenienced I was that I now had to take on her job. I didn’t realize I took it for granted that you were always around when I needed you and her kids were actually growing up without their mum so she could give them the best life she could afford to.
When you were at work how glad I was that I had freedom to do whatever it is I wanted without restrictions and was mad when you were on leave because it meant you would always be home spending time with us. How naïve I was and took your presence for granted. How naïve I was not to realize that you could have used your leave days to go off on a holiday but you chose to spend more quality time with me.
When you insisted on buying us more fruits and vegetables and eating a well home cooked meal than eating out and eating candy and fast food for the sake of our health. How I’d complain about how other parents bought their kids all that fast food and we ate it rarely. I didn’t notice the fact that we seldom got sick because of good nutrition that developed into the healthy eating habits I have now. I took for granted that in the process I learnt to cook well balanced food and the value of eating a home cooked meal with family, not to mention the money you get to save by budgeting for groceries.
When you insisted that there were restrictions on watching television and made us read so many books during the holidays. I felt so short changed when I would meet my classmates and they would discuss all the shows they were allowed to watch and how unfair I felt that I was just stuck reading books and studying. Little did I know the discipline I developed on prioritizing what was important and the value of studying and hard work.

When you would tactfully mention that you disapproved of some of my friends and how I would be so offended feeling you barely knew them. The truth is you could see that they were not being genuine or they were a negative influence on me and you were just looking out for me. Now some of those friends are not even in my life and I know why but at that time the most important relationships were that of friends and suddenly now it is family, and the friends who become close enough to be family.
There are so many lessons and there is no way I can mention them all now. My favorite one of all is that you learnt to trust God and I saw you grow in trusting Him daily. When there was no money for fees you knew He would come through, when the groceries ran out you knew He would provide, when we got sick you knew He would heal us, when we doubted our abilities you knew He would make us great. There was no time you showed us that God would not come through for us, even if you sometimes battled with doubt. However the faith you had, even as small as a mustard seed was enough to keep us going through those difficult time. Reflecting back I can see how your faith grew with every answered prayer and how it made you become a better mother. You became more and more the woman God wanted you to be and grew in love and patience. I would be truly blessed to be half the woman you are but knowing you expect me to be even more than that. I know I will because I had such a wonderful teacher.

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